Danny Dyer: please just go away

"Faaaakin' 'ard geeza"

Apples and pears, trouble and strife, weasel and stoat, mince pies, apples and pears, trouble and strife, weasel and stoat, mince pies, apples and pears...

Danny 'I'm so cockney and hard it's unbelievable' Dyer. He of exceptionally bad films, exceptionally bad television and someone who abuses the English language so much he should be locked up in the Tower of London. Were it not for the fact that being locked up would be greeted as a badge of honour among him and his retarded 'bruvas', I'd probably start a petition.

If you're a man, you're a 'geezer'. A lady, a 'sort'. You can see him now sat down the local 'boozer' knocking back pint after pint of wife-beater and scamming the fruities. He epitomises the modern British man; something I and many others would happily distance themselves from.

As for his profession, he can't even do that well. That would be why he plays the same character over and over again: streetwise 'geezer' from Laandan. Cheeky fuckin' cockney. Knows where to get some gear. Buys pirated DVDs in pubs. Man alive, he annoys the hell out of me.

Then there's his television shows. Danny Dyer's Deadliest Men, The Real Football Factories, et al, all on that wonderfully entertaining channel, Bravo: 'The channel for men stuff. Men like stuff. We 'ave it.' (Note: this is not their actual slogan. But it could be.) The only decent moment on any of these was this clip where someone finally hit Dyer:

I don't agree with violence... unless people like Danny Dyer are on the receiving end. I hate him. That is all.